#DARE

Uniqueness is not only defined by ones appearance and someone’s personality.  Uniqueness is defined by ones actions, beliefs and wins throughout their lives. Beliefs and actions were taught in school till now you’re reading this post. Wins though, to be won, you need to practice in daring. Because no dare, no win, right?

Dare to be yourself, dare to the truth, dare to fail, dare to “fall”, dare to success, dare to dream. If you are not willing to dare, you are not going to win. Usually people with low self esteem find it dificult to win, and that’s because they change the way they act depending on what other people think of them, and they adopt their opinions to match with them. People often try to dare only in their dreams, and imagine how their life would be IF they were living their lives as their true selves.

First you need to know that you really want to “win”, and once you accept it, you have to proceed. Start doing bit by bit the thing you need to do in order to make what you want to be yours. By my experience, everything you need is right in front of your eyes. All you have to do is make a big step; stretch your hand and just grab it. The difficult part is the big step. The “how to make a big step”. Your low self-esteem is blocking you from showing others the wonderful person that you really are. Work on your self-esteem first, and then it will get easier to be you. The “big step” is going to be done at a perfect ease.  And then all you have to do is just stretch your hand and grab what’s in front of you.  That’s all. If you’re not willing to dare, you are not going to take anything at all. And once you’re not taking, you’re not giving in revert.

It’s easier and greater to be defined as self by your personal dares/wins rather than by your surroundings of friends and family.

TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE

O b v i o u s l y this is not a subject that needs any further discussion. Most of the people i know seem eager to give advice. I, on the other hand, am horrible in giving advices. No one knows what you’ve been through, so their advice is hardly useless. 

Honestly, your own self is more eligible to re-group your thoughts and feelings and then decide on rather you act the one or the other way. Sometimes it’s hard to sort all the things out because there are usually a hundred thoughts, but in the end you are going to pick the best answer. 

Of course everyone likes to give advices, because they care for us, or they don’t. But anyhow, people like to talk. It’s easier to say than do anyway. So if you found yourself in a difficult situation that you have no idea how to continue, an advice of a close friend means no harm. You can collect as many advices and opinions you want, but the final choice is yours to take.

You have a self-discipline that allows you to take your own advice as the strongest, and look at the entire picture by yourself. Others will talk to you by how they learn from their own experiences, but only you know the real reasons, the true feelings and the consequences that will follow. Many people think that they’re good at giving advices but they really aren’t. 

NOTE TO SELF:if the results of choosing not your own but your friends’ advice are not the ones you were expecting, you should never put the blame on them, because all they were trying to do was lead you to the right path. (or whatever they thought it was the right thing for you to do)

As a conclusion, i strongly believe that if you ever going to be taking advice of someone, keep in mind that you always put your own opinion first because only you know how to make YOUR situation better. 

DON’T WASTE TIME ON GUILT

Earlier this week, while i was watching one of my favorite shows, i heard the phrase “Don’t waste time on guilt, holding onto toxic relationships is what keeps us from growing,” and something inside me just clicked. I already knew that my next post on the blog was definitely going to be about Guilt. 

The other day whilst i was talking on the phone with my friend, i don’t really remember what we were taking about, and it’s not really relevant anyway, but the point of me referring to this is because he told me that i don’t have to feel guilty about something. And you know what? I wasn’t feeling guilty at all. But the way he brought it up and stuck it in my head for over a week made me feel like he was implying i should feel guilty.

So, the main point is that i had to feel guilty about something i don’t even remember the subject of. 

Guilt is not a feeling like anger or sadness. It’s not a natural emotion but it’s a cultural product. It prevents you from moving on, and it won’t help you reinstall yourself. Guilt can’t fix your past, or what you’ve done. So apparently nothing good comes on feeling guilty about things you’ve done. And exactly because guilt is a thought process we might as well not mixing it up with other feelings as many people do.

We often misunderstand our feelings. Is it guilt what we feel? Or is it sadness, or maybe anger? The true and actual causes of guilt is feeling bad about doing something bad. Although causes of sadness is feeling bad about someone else did something bad. Causes of anger has nothing to do with feeling bad and it’s being eliminated. So it’s definitely not anger what you’re feeling.

“It is difficult to improve your life without knowing whether you are sad or angry about some aspect of it,” says psychological scientist Emre Demiralp of the University of Michigan. And I’m totally familiar with it since I’m reading a hell out of psychology books the past years trying to objectify and understand my own feelings and actions.  

The main point of posting this article was to show you that wasting time, on wrong feelings might lead you to way different things than what you were targeting. The time goes by, the ability to identify our feelings helps us address the problem that led us to those emotions in the first place. 

So my advise is to “Be Specific.” When you know exactly what you want, and have already eliminated what you’re not, the chances of doing something that is completely out of your book, is almost impossible.

STRENGTHEN YOUR CONFIDENCE

Confidence is the feeling that may easily be misidentified for the feeling of thinking you are better than other people or that you do not care about what other people think, which I find incorrect. Confidence isn’t about other people, it’s about you and how you reflect yourself and recognizing your capability and capacity.

 Yesterday, I read something, somewhere that made me realize that confidence is literally something that if you own, you’re proceeding fast. So now on I’ll think about that. It was like “If it can be done by other people, you as an individual can also do it. It only requires for you to take one single(sometimes big) step to start a journey and it only gets easier as you move along.”

 We all have experienced, that after doing something we were dreaded for the first time, we realize that it wasn’t as frightening as you thought. Well, moral support is really important part of strengthening your confidence. 

 Some of us need to see things in different point of views, so don’t be afraid opening up to people you are comfortable with, and hearing their opinion might do something that give you that extra nudge into proceeding correctly.

Strengthening your confidence is required to live a stronger and most respectful life.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Hellen Keller

2012/2013 RESOLUTIONS REVEALED

 Happy New Year to everyone. 2012 in review, was actually at all bad for me. Many of my 2012’s resolutions did came true.

     Usually I’m one of them who likes to postpone things, but lately i came to understand the importance of doing what i have to do, in order to live an organized life.

   So my 2012 resolutions were unexpectedly completed in a way that most of them were completed by the second half of the year.

Some of them were:

     **To travel to NYC.

          Okay, i did a little more than travel, but this task completed and I’m so very happy for this trip, this job, this experience.

     **To learn a new language.

          Yes, i started to learn Japanese. Well at first i tried to complete my French classes, but unfortunately for another one time i failed. French just don’t want to be spoken by me. No further explanation to this.

     **To see the sunset and the sunrise at the same day.

          Twas an easy but truly beautiful resolution, and someday you have to make it happen to you too. Sitting and watching the day happens is ridiculously amazing and exciting at the same time. Watching the day pass and you’ll see how complete you are going to feel.

  

  **To see a Broadway play.

          I am a total musical freak, so i couldn’t go to NYC without seeing at least 2 of my favorite plays. So i watched 2 magical plays. Admired so much the talent of the performers, and they’re voices are still in my head.

NOW let’s take a look at my wish-to-happen resolutions of 2013.

     **To send a message in a bottle.

          I don’t really know why i find this awesome, but i really want to write a message and stick it in a bottle and throw it in the sea. This’ll be the first resolution its going to come true in 2013. Ive always wanted to do that and I’m going to.

     **To milk a cow.

          Why are you laughing? Yeah i find that super amazing, and doing it will be lots of fun. Well, i guess it’s turning out fun rather than a tragedy. Whatever’s the final result Im definitely doing it.

     **To see the northern lights LIVE.

         If you guys have seen anything more magical than the northern lights, please inform me. If you haven’t then you really need to check out National Geographic’s videos about the northern lights, and you WILL definitely want to see them too.

     **To kiss underwater.

          No further explanations needed. I guess.

     **To win an E-bay auction.

         Finally i need to win an e-bay auction. I’ve participated many times, but definitely NOT enough. I hit it once, and then i totally forget about it. So I HAVE TO win.

     **To ride an elephant.

     **To swim with dolphins.

     AND MANY MANY MORE….

 

I Hope 2013 will be the year where most of our wishes will do come true. Wish you health, wealth and happiness. 

 

Best

D.

CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS

My word to this statement would only be “TELL ME HOW.” But, come on, we all have, in the past, suddenly put our feelings away and closed them in a box, and hid it somewhere deep in our basement. I really, 100% can’t deal with my feelings right now, I’m all up for new things, and I’m not supposed to let feelings take over what I’m trying to achieve this summerish time. So yeah, that’s what i’m suggesting. Don’t feel your feelings. Turn them off.

“Turn it off” is a phrase of a musical theater play stuck into my head, for good. What do i mean by all this, is that you’d better put your feelings aside, so you can finish everything you started without having strange, weird, butterfly-ish feelings to distract you from achieving it.

I can’t say i am happy with that, but at least it’s satisfying unless you’re receiving more than you’re expecting so in that case, i would tell you to give up turning your feelings off, and instead turn them ON, for real and go have fun.

Emotions, though, appear right out of nowhere, and literally you can’t follow and keep up with them, unless you’re 100% focused on them and satisfied with what you’re giving and what you’re getting. Of course other emotions will pop up right after you engage with the first feeling, all tied up like a chain. Feelings can tear you down, but on the other hand can bright you up and make you feel like flower in the sun. Or something like that.

My biggest question to myself is that if it’s right to express our feelings right away, keep them for ourselves or put them in a box and say goodbye. Well, in any of these ways, keeping them inside is not an option. CLEARLY, if you’re gonna keep emotions inside, then you’re lost.

People also love someone who can control their feelings, and it inspires them. If it’s motivating for them, why wouldn’t it be for you, too? Whatever you do, ACT spontaneous and not irresponsible.

STEP 21: TURN NEGATIVE INTO POSITIVE

There is no person that is so positive, that can totally control his mind, feelings and thoughts into positive thoughts. Negative thoughts though, have many origins you have to search. Check out below.

 

When negative thoughts creep into your head, either it came from not feeling so well, or from experiencing low self-esteem. Take some time and find the origin of this thought. Take a minute to understand where it came from and try to develop a “strategy” so to resolve it. You can have the control of your feelings by this “tip”. If you can’t resolve it then accept it and move on before it affects more aspects of you.

This strategy is based on your skills, benefits, and strengths. For example, if  you have thoughts that you’re not going to succeed on a mission, such as, your business or even your final exams at college, automatically think of your previous achievements you accomplish successfully the previous years because of your skills, experiences and attributes. Also you can think of previous failures that you finally managed to take over.

Because we often learn most from experiencing and working through negative situations or perceived failures. 🙂