Earlier this week, while i was watching one of my favorite shows, i heard the phrase “Don’t waste time on guilt, holding onto toxic relationships is what keeps us from growing,” and something inside me just clicked. I already knew that my next post on the blog was definitely going to be about Guilt.
The other day whilst i was talking on the phone with my friend, i don’t really remember what we were taking about, and it’s not really relevant anyway, but the point of me referring to this is because he told me that i don’t have to feel guilty about something. And you know what? I wasn’t feeling guilty at all. But the way he brought it up and stuck it in my head for over a week made me feel like he was implying i should feel guilty.
So, the main point is that i had to feel guilty about something i don’t even remember the subject of.
Guilt is not a feeling like anger or sadness. It’s not a natural emotion but it’s a cultural product. It prevents you from moving on, and it won’t help you reinstall yourself. Guilt can’t fix your past, or what you’ve done. So apparently nothing good comes on feeling guilty about things you’ve done. And exactly because guilt is a thought process we might as well not mixing it up with other feelings as many people do.
We often misunderstand our feelings. Is it guilt what we feel? Or is it sadness, or maybe anger? The true and actual causes of guilt is feeling bad about doing something bad. Although causes of sadness is feeling bad about someone else did something bad. Causes of anger has nothing to do with feeling bad and it’s being eliminated. So it’s definitely not anger what you’re feeling.
“It is difficult to improve your life without knowing whether you are sad or angry about some aspect of it,” says psychological scientist Emre Demiralp of the University of Michigan. And I’m totally familiar with it since I’m reading a hell out of psychology books the past years trying to objectify and understand my own feelings and actions.
The main point of posting this article was to show you that wasting time, on wrong feelings might lead you to way different things than what you were targeting. The time goes by, the ability to identify our feelings helps us address the problem that led us to those emotions in the first place.
So my advise is to “Be Specific.” When you know exactly what you want, and have already eliminated what you’re not, the chances of doing something that is completely out of your book, is almost impossible.
THE POSITIVE BLOG © 